This is heavy. 😯 I don't know what to think. This is my first time hearing this theory. Appearantly Ashton Forbes has been on this for quite a while. Just throwing this out there for future reference.

THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE HAS ISSUED A SEVERE WEATHER WARNING FOR ALL COUNTIES IN THE SURROUNDING AREA. METEOROLOGISTS HAVE DETERMINED THERE IS STUFF FALLING FROM THE SKY THAT IS LIKELY TO RIP THE SKIN OFF OF YOUR FACE. HEAVY RAIN, HAIL, CINDERBLOCKS, AND MOUNTAIN GOATS WILL CAUSE DAMAGE, UPROOT TREES, DESTROY TRAILER HOMES, AND GIVE YOU A HERNIA. GUSTY WINDS OF UP TO FIVE THOUSAND MILES PER HOUR WILL DAMAGE ROOFS AND CAUSE A DISTURBANCE IN THE FORCE. IF YOU HAVE A DOG OR CAT THAT YOU DO NOT LIKE LEAVE IT OUTSIDE. IF YOU LIVE IN A MOBILE HOME IT'S BEEN NICE KNOWING YOU. IF YOU LIVE IN A MANSION SEEK A TAX SHELTER IMMEDIATELY. SHRUBS, PICKLES, AND TALK SHOW HOSTS MAY BECOME AIRBORNE MAKING DRIVING DANGEROUS AND INCREASE THE NEED TO CHECK YOUR UNDERWEAR OFTEN. I PERSONALLY PLAN TO KICK BACK WITH AN ICE COLD BREWSKY AND WATCH THE FORTY SIX HOUR GOLDEN GIRLS MARATHON. THIS SEVERE WEATHER WARNING WILL NEVER EXPIRE. GOOD LUCK. MOST IMPORTANTLY. YOU MUST REMEMBER TO DO ONE THING. IF YOU DO NOTHING ELSE. DO THIS. YOU MUST REMEMBER TO